Our hares travelled all the way from Truro just to lay our Christmas Bash Hash. So it was only fitting that we laid on some excellent weather for the intrepid duo, otherwise known as Bomber and Dishy Goolies. Meeting in the bar area of the Marina Playa Hotel at 3:30, we waited with baited breath for the hares not knowing if they had even caught their flight from Bristol. 15 minutes before the meet time in the car park they suddenly appeared all red faced and sweaty, they had clearly checked in early and made full use of their room facilities.
Almost all accounted for we made our way to the car park and decided to give the latecomers (K2 and friend complete with dog) a couple of minutes grace. Turns out they were waiting patiently at the wrong hotel.
KeyFOB in usual form forgot just about everything other than to drag the Hares in the middle for the chalk talk, to which no one listened and hence were all taken by surprise when the OnOn was called, so much so that they were still wandering around aimlessly when we reached the first beer stop some 15m from the start. How we made it that far without dehydrating is beyond me. Clearly Truro Hash have no concept of running in the sun. Suitably fortified with warm beer cava and a delicious sherry it was OnOn with a vengeance. To cut a long hash short we arrived at the second beer stop some 2.5km later, a delightful bar called Baobab I think! So delightful that we reluctantly abandoned the hash for more beer. Norman Bates undertook the onerous task of RA dispensing the punishments with alacrity. Unfortunately this Scribe has no recollection of either offenders or their punishments, maybe there is photographic evidence somewhere?
By this time some hashers were getting restless wanting to change into their finery ready for the evenings extravaganza.
Having being promised live entertainment with a plethora of artistes.
7:30 pm saw the gathering of a motley crew that obviously had not had time to change into their finery but nevertheless had decided to attend.
The meal finished it was time for the festivities to start. And what a start our very own group of spectacular Andalucian dancers Ma Bates, Clickit, Paramedic and honourary harriet Linda. Quickly followed by the internationally frowned upon star from Y Fuctor Bella Enda.
A surprise appearance from a local Spanish bikers group showed the seven Harriets kissin and a huggin with Big Nuts how the car journey would have been if a biker had been driving.
From then on it was down hill with the Karaoke, which unfortunately contrary to the norm had an abundance of volunteers, non of whom could sing perhaps with the exception of OverDeFence. In fairness Petal did his best to keep them in tune with his music. He was never going to win that challenge but gave it his best shot.
There was a very welcome interval to the (singing), when Carpet Burns Dragged her Dummy in and promptly stuck her hand up CantCumTriAgain, something she is definitely well practiced at. It reminded me of a live show I went to in Hamburg. But far more memorable. probably knowing the performers adds more to the imagination.
As the evening slowly drew to a close Screw On the Loose now thoroughly turned on by these shenanigans and realising that Bella Enda had stirred up unknown feelings, went in search of further entertainment. His night ending on a high when he found two transvestites in the Irish Bar. Luckily BigNuts, NoCents Paramedic and Linda rescued him to hash another day.
Breakfast saw a slow trickle of weary hashers getting ready for the mornings events. Only Petal and KeyFOB braving the Dash and Splash. Proving that Fools go where Hashers fear to tread.
PS There may well be a further episode to this write up, but I have no doubt it will be a complete distortion of the facts. Don’t be taken in. At this time of year you should be aware of fakes.
Have a good Christmas and a Happy New Year.