Ten Set Out To Slay The Dragon – Run #201
In a land called Honnah Lee (that looked a lot like Almeria province by chance) a dragon called Puff was rumoured to live. So one Sunday, not so long ago, a (not so merry yet) band of hashers set out to the remote lair of the dragon, a place called Los Alamos. There the dragon terrorised the people by playing a dreadful sound repeatedly on a sound machine.
After injections of caffeine, to strengthen their resolve, the band of hashers gathered to hear words of wisdom from the Grand Master’s understudy, Keyfob. Sadly little wisdom was forthcoming and the hare went on to explain the trail to be followed. After that the band split up, with the walking wounded and camp followers being led onwards by a courageous Dutchman; and the ten knights galloped off on their own (only to reappear twice more as they sought the true trail).
Eventually the Knights of the Beer Table left the village on their quest, but each time the keenest knights sought to take advantage and get to the dragon first they were thwarted, finding the trail markings were replaced with a large ‘O’ or else the dreaded ‘X’. Thus were the Lady Carpet Burns and the Lady Cant Come Tri Again often to be found at the rear, whilst the less able (but more wily) Sir Kingfisher found himself at the front. Indeed, at one point the four most foremost were only those of the low hills – the four knights from Lubrin!
The trail itself was never that obvious, despite the markings, as its direction was never straight, but it finally led towards the largest hill. There atop the summit stood a 100 metre high red and white striped pole, testimony to the severe snowstorms this area must suffer. However, as the knights approached this glorified barber’s pole fate played its fickle game. The first 3 errant knights were struck with Marley Hookitus and had to rush for protection to the rear. Overcoming this obstacle we continued on our quest, meeting up with our fellow walking hashers at the home of a notorious bandit. Not only was no bandit in residence, no dragon to be found there (or beer) either!
Continuing together downhill, both groups descended into the dry river bed and, just in time, discovered a hostelry offering ice-cold refreshment against the now beating sun. Eventually, having been cajoled by threats, both groups were persuaded to set off once more along the trail, which led further along the river bed, before turning left. At this point the band of hashers were mighty cream-crackered and wondering how safe it would be at night in this alien and barren land. Matters were not helped by another dose of Marley Hookitus and some knights were heard muttering some prayer that involved using a hook up the dragon’s backside at this point… Then, as we rounded a rise, there in the distance were buildings denoting civilisation. It was not the Garden of Eden, but rather Los Alamos, the village we had left some time; but it was a most welcoming sight that caused Sir Over Da Fence to raise his arm in triumph. Sadly that triumph did not include the slaying of the dragon. Instead that said dragon had led us a merry dance through its land!
So, as we gathered to drink and recount tales of our quest, once more the village echoed to the horrible sounds of ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ that no sooner finished than it begun once more. Beer and other stuff of little consequence was downed as Sir Kingfisher brought forth knights and their followers to be rewarded for their valour or punished for their sins. Before long though Mistress Click-it summoned all to partake of her kitchen’s superb range of food and peace reigned once more throughout that land of Honnah Lee (well until the next time that horrible sound is heard)! A great hash!!